What are the factors that prevent us from being who we truly are?
Is it our own fears that hold us back?
Do we think that we are too weak to show up as the fullest version of ourselves?
Or is it that the world is not set up to support us, but rather to judge us when we try to be something outside of the “norm?”
Our life experiences can shape us, but we are not confined to the frame enclosing that shape.
The glass shattered, the corners of the frame can be bent, the picture can be freed and replaced with a new one.
Whatever we were surrounded by in our childhood, or at any stage in life, whether we were exposed to strict religious practices, hard work, neglect, abuse, love support, financial freedom, financial limitations…all of these things contribute to the way we see the world, the way we see ourselves, and the way we define family and relationships.
But we are not held to these beliefs.
There are reasons for our thoughts and our behaviors, many of these reasons rooted in our prior life experiences, but reasons aren’t excuses. We are still capable of expanding and evolving.
As we start to grow and learn more about the world around us, and more about ourselves as individuals, we gather information. That information informs our growth, and thus we always have the capacity to be in formation.
When the universe, or whatever you believe in, starts to show signs and examples of ways that we can be more true to ourselves, we may not be ready to acknowledge those guideposts.
And that is perfectly okay.
Sometimes it feels like we need to hurry to meet this new version of ourselves, to be “better,” however we define that, as soon as possible.
And there is some urgency to this process.
We don’t know how long we have to live on this earth and in this body. We fear having regrets that we didn’t follow the whispers and the tugs telling us there’s something or somewhere we need to be to meet the next version of ourselves.
But still, we can be gentle and patient with ourselves, and kind and appreciative of the people and situations we may need to leave behind to meet this new version.
It is tough to leave people or situations that have held us, supported us and helped us grow.
When it’s time to move forward or away, we worry about protecting others’ feelings and often put our own feelings aside. Many times this leads to staying too long in a pattern that is no longer serving us. This can also lead to resentment and jumping on to the persecutor corner of the drama triangle.
We may feel that by taking steps towards that new path, the one that feels more appealing to us, and that honors our evolved values, we are rejecting people or environments that deserve our everlasting loyalty.
The mindset shift here is to recall that, just like nature, our lives have seasons. It’s not personal when we move away from people or places whose season has passed.
When the season changes it’s time to open to new information that drives our new formation.
There is a balance to taking time to absorb the information that provides the blueprint for our next move and taking action that will allow us to surrender into that next remodel.
In the meantime, we can continue to listen to the questions that are coming up for us and hold space to allow the answers that follow.
For now, just listen.
No need to analyze.
No need to act.
Some of the answers that the universe (aka our own intuition, if we are really “tapped in”) don’t require immediate action. We don’t need to stop what we’re doing right now and start something new.
Just continue to listen.
This phase is like the yellow light on a stoplight. When you trust yourself enough you’ll feel the foot shift from the brake the the gas and the light will turn green for you.
Or if you prefer yet another fantasy analogy (a WBD signature), as Gandalf says in the Lord of the Rings, “it’s the deep breath before the plunge.”
And some of us may need that to be a loooooooooong breath.
Just remember, even when we aren’t taking action, when we are just honoring the whispers and the tugs and the questions and the answers, we are always in formation, and we can always change.