I just finished re-watching all 8 seasons of Game of Thrones, each viewing occurring between the hours of 2:30 and 4:00 a.m. The moms out there will understand the meaning of that time period, affectionately known as the MOTN. At any rate, I’ve come to relish my MOTN GOT sessions as a little slice of “me” time, and of course I’ve learned a few things from the show’s themes that will show up in my blog posts, starting with today’s.
If you haven’t watched the series but plan to, stop reading this post now as there is a major spoiler here. If you have watched it or have no intention of watching it, read on!
The overarching theme of the book/series is a competition for control of the Iron Throne, the seat where the ruler of the 7 Kingdoms sits and controls “the realm.” There are a host of characters vying for this seat, most of whom are completely unsavory, narcissistic, malicious, murderous, conniving, self-serving and under the impression that their blood type somehow entitles them to the most powerful leadership position in the world, regardless of possessing any actual leadership qualities.
Then there are a couple of characters who are more complicated, one of whom appears to be a just leader and whose “campaign” runs on freeing slaves across multiple cities and envisioning a world where everyone is free; however, this person’s noble ambition becomes tainted by a lust for power and a motivation to do whatever it takes to claim their seat on the throne, including killing thousands of innocent people in order to destroy a single competitor to her right to the throne.
Another character has all the qualities of what a leader should be, or what most of us would like to see in a leader, yet he has no desire to sit on the Iron Throne. It is this individual that prompted me to write this post.
(spoilers start here…last warning!)
Daenerys Targaryon is descended from a line of Kings who sat on the Iron Throne and there is strong precedent for someone from her family to rule. This leadership role has not been her lifelong ambition, but she finds herself in a leadership position somewhat by accident, when she realizes that she can survive being caught on fire (a pretty enticing quality, I suppose) and has the ability to raise dragons (another incredible skill to add to her CV). These features plant the seed for her that she is “meant to rule.” Many others agree and begin to follow her and support her claim to the throne.
She begins her journey as a leader who changes the culture of a violent group to which she had originally been sold but to whom she now leads–the Dothraki Bloodriders. As their name implies, they show no mercy to the villages they attack, bringing terror, trauma and death to all who cross their path. Once she becomes their leader, Daenerys creates rules for them to cease their abusive tactics and hostile-takeovers of villages. Instead, she entices them with the bait that appeals to their egos and self-image–the battle of a lifetime where they will emerge as the greatest warriors in history while helping her take her seat on the Iron Throne. And so they follow her.
Along the way, she discovers inhumanities across multiple countries and in each situation she finds a way to help the enslaved become free, which, in turn, results in her gaining thousands of new followers who are indebted to her for life. The slaves she has freed pledge their swords to her independently because they believe in her mission to create a world where all people are free to choose their own paths.
Unfortunately, the compounding love and reverence for Daenerys combined with the exhilaration of victorious battles obliterating slave “masters” starts to change her. She has until this point in the story held an open mind to her advisors and consults with numerous individuals before making each move towards her goal, but she begins to make decisions that are solely in her own self-interest.
You can see the evolution of her purpose from a broad, mission-driven focus to help as many people as possible, to wanting the attention, devotion and unchecked power characteristic of a dictator. She no longer views herself as being chosen by those who believe in her, but rather believes herself to be entitled to the Iron Throne by her family name alone.
In this way, she becomes just like all the others who seek the throne purely out of selfishness and ego.
There are several turning-point moments for Danerys, including when she encounters one of the wisest characters in the story, Tyrion Lannister. Tyrion has traveled thousands of miles to see this legendary queen. He has come to serve her after hearing the stories of her compassionate victories across the world. He believes she could be the “right” leader and wants to help her.
Tyrion has also seen what pursuit of the Iron throne does to others who have sought that goal–they have killed family members, murdered innocents, starved their own constituents and will stop at nothing to achieve the highest seat of kings and queens. When he meets Daenerys he asks her what she wants. When she replies that she wants to sit on the Iron Throne and rule all of the seven kingdoms he suggests that she tries to “want something else.”
He points out that she could probably do the most good in the area where she’s already freed hundreds of thousands of people. If she stayed where she is she could ensure that those she freed continue to have that freedom. She could protect them from any threats to the independence that she won for them.
But she no longer wants that. She wants to be THE ruler of ALL kingdoms.
There is a lesson here, about reasons for wanting to be in leadership positions.
Anyone who sought the Iron Throne did so out of pure ego or entitlement, the desire for ultimate power, and the demand to be feared, loved and to have everyone around them “bend the knee.”
In Game of Thrones, all of those people seeking the Iron Throne end up dead.
Yet there is one character who has the ultimate righteous claim to the throne. He doesn’t know it for the first 20 or so years of his life because his true identity has been withheld from him his whole life. Because of this, he has never even considered being a king. But in the course of his life he is constantly, organically chosen to lead in several different situations. He is fair, he is just, he is compassionate, open-minded, courageous, inspiring, caring, inclusive, accepting and stands up for what is right even when he has to stick his neck out and stand alone on an issue that creates waves amongst his superiors and peers.
He exhibits all of the qualities most of us would seek in a leader. And the truest quality that demonstrates why he should be a leader? He doesn’t want it.
People who just naturally lead, without needing an official title, without needing the affirmation or accolades for their leadership, who don’t SEEK the position but rather step up when they see that they can help others or bring clarity, truth, justice, motivation, whatever the gap is that no one else can fill, these are the people who would ironically make the best “official” leaders.
People who lead from a purpose want to do something good versus be recognized for just being in a certain position.
Throughout the Game of Thrones people follow various “kings” and “queens” who they deem are the rightful heirs to the Iron Throne, but eventually every single one they follow ends up being wrong, except for Jon Snow.
When Jon asks all of the people across the 7 kingdoms to put their differences aside and come together to join him in a fight against the true “bad guys” that threaten all of their existences, people are skeptical. When two characters are discussing the issue one says, “all of the kings that have been followed before Jon have been wrong,” to which the other replies, “but Jon is not a king…” The first replies, “Exactly.”
Jon fulfills the prophecy that would have made king by acting like a king, and never taking his seat on the throne. He saves the 7 kingdoms because it is the right thing to do, and never asks a sole to bow to him or follow him after that task has been completed.
Maybe it was the delirium of re-watching this series in the wee hours of the night, alone with my thoughts and half-awake, but this struck me as a very stark (GOT pun there) lesson in what true leadership looks like.
Warrior leaders don’t ask to be leaders. They just lead.