Not only is it the last Wednesday of 2024, it’s the last Warrior Wednesday in its current version.
This blog was not created as part of any New Year’s resolution, but it was created as part of a vision that I had over many months. Since this is the time of year when people start to think about what’s next and what new goals they may want to tackle, I figured it would be a good time to recap some of the Warrior Wednesday themes that can help us with the heroic feat of trying to change habits and behaviors and/or start new ones.
First, I recommend not tying goals to a certain start point like New Year’s Day. If you haven’t done the work of reviewing the previous year(s) and analyzing what has been working in your career, relationships, health, mindset and finances, then creating new goals probably isn’t going to be as focused as it could be.
One practice I learned from my time in the corporate world is the “stop, start and continue” approach to future planning.
When you take stock in the pillars of your life that represent your values, say, for example, health, wealth, love and happiness, take some time to reflect on a block of time that has past. Typically we start by looking at the past year when the new year rolls around so we can see what worked and what didn’t.
What areas of each pillar worked well? Put those in the “continue” column. Why reinvent the wheel? If taking an hour every Sunday to meal prep has become a standardized habit that sets you up well for the week with nutritious meals ready to go, keep that habit.
If, on the other hand, you had a goal to meal prep every Sunday and managed to complete it only once a quarter on average, then something about that goal didn’t fit your lifestyle and you had other things that you prioritized most Sundays. So why was that? What were the other priorities? If they are aligned with your values, keep those priorities and figure out another way to get your nutrition on track. Maybe try using a meal service two days a week. Put that in the “start” column.
And if you do that, it may impact your financial goal for saving a certain amount every month, so you may need to adjust goals in that pillar to stop something like a different subscription that doesn’t support your nutritional goals (e.g. a subscription for an app that you never use). Put that in the “stop” column for finances.
Using the “stop, start, and continue” model for each pillar helps us focus on the most important things and helps us be realistic about our methods for achieving our goals in each of those areas.
The best way to keep this going is to revisit the approach every quarter instead of waiting a full year. Really good corporations take the time to review plans on a frequent basis, and really, REALLY good corporations create an environment where people are allowed to try new ideas and “fail fast.”
We can also apply this to our personal goal setting–give yourself permission to try new approaches to each goal and don’t be afraid to stop that approach when its not working. We don’t need to stick with an idea just because we feel like we need to keep trying until we succeed. We are too quick to put “failure” in a negative category these days.
Failure does not impede growth. Not recognizing when we are on the wrong path impedes growth. Digging our heels in just to prove a point, whether it’s to ourselves or to others, impedes growth.
Try a multitude of ways to achieve your goals and pick the one that works FOR YOU.
Learn something from each attempt that doesn’t quite work and then MOVE ON.
Create an environment for yourself that doesn’t include shame or blame for when an idea doesn’t work. Create your OWN psychological safety from your own inner critic.
When I reflected on the last year of Warrior by Day, there were things I learned that I didn’t want to do (e.g. spend a lot of time editing or working on optimizing my website) and that I’d rather outsource in the future.
I also realized that I missed thinking about, learning about, and writing about women’s health.
As a new mom, and a fertility warrior, I have had many more experiences as a female patient than I ever had before, and have identified even more gaps in the knowledge and personalization of medicine to address the unique needs of women.
For many years I was a very vocal advocate for addressing sex differences in women’s health. I got a bit jaded after a while, feeling like nothing was moving the needle. Recently my passion for this topic has been reignited, and the process of putting my voice out into the world through Warrior by Day set a foundation that showed me where I want to go next.
Having a “word of the year” was very helpful to keep me focused over the last few years. My family has the tradition of coming up with our new words every Christmas. Last year I made hand-painted oyster shells for everyone that contained their word and an associated scene. For example, my sister-in-law’s word was “Chill” so I made her a beach scene with her word and she kept it on her windowsill.
She told us at Christmas dinner today that having the visual was really helpful because she would find herself in situations where she was stressed and she could see the word in front of her if she was in her house, or even in her mind if it wasn’t right in front of her.
This might be a helpful tool for my Warrior friends out there. In addition to taking stock of what worked over the last year and doing the “stop, start, continue” exercise for each of the important pillars in your life, think of an overarching word that will help guide you over the next year.
Mine was “create” last year. I created this blog, a website, and even started working on a product related to the women’s health field. I would NEVER have thought I was the type of person who would take one of the hundreds of random ideas I had in my head and actually start to put it into ACTION.
I really believe that something is going to come of this, and it’s happening because I didn’t limit myself to only having successes. I am allowing myself to create, fail, learn, iterate and repeat. It also helps that I found an amazing partner on this early idea that wholly believes in trying things without worrying about whether they will work or not. Our first idea may not be the “big idea,” but it is the idea that is getting the momentum going.
My word for 2025 is “realize.” I will be taking my creations to fruition, building something unique and looking at my world through “real eyes.”
My wish for all of you warriors is that you find a way to incorporate the lessons from this blog to remind yourselves that you CAN change– you can change your mind, your body, the way you communicate, the way you respond to stress, the way you engage with people with whom you don’t agree.
Keep challenging yourself to think different, to ask questions, to be curious, to stay off the drama triangle, to let go of attachment to the 8 Worldly Dharmas, to try something new even if it’s scary, and to let go of the outcome and just BE THE WARRIOR that lives inside of you.